Pulp Friction

Bright fluorescent ruby with pink edges.  A most nauseating nose of home-wine unfinished-ness, VA and syrup glossed onto the most fruit-FWD mess you’ve smelled in decades lathered in fake leather and gummy-worms drowned in gin & tonic.

I don’t have anything against wine in cans.  I also don’t have anything against wine-on-tap.  This producer makes both and I run up against them on BTG programmes all over the Central Coast.  Each delivery method has its short-comings, and neither will ever stand up to serious wine-consideration.  Don’t get me wrong–I have enjoyed many fresh, bright, frothy BTG offerings from tap at local resties AND I have also enjoyed several reds and rosés accompanied with a pull-tab.  It’s just THIS ONE.  Oh my. This one.  This one manages to confer all the wrongs of the low-IQ wine-drinking public quite perfectly into one glass.

I’ve read the ingredients–and props to them for publishing them: Zin, Temp, Cab, Syrah, Grenache, Mourvedre, and–for the extra plush-point: Viognier.  Nothing fattens up a red wine quite like a shot of Viognier.  It is a kitchen-sink blend lab-perfected for unsophisticated enjoyment, high on cheap fruit and low on elegance.

In the mouth, bright, rosy, thin, berry plays hardball with this demographic’s ideals of fruit and structure.  An accompanying brash bitter tells all this is indeed red wine, but the depth of structure has The Disney Channel written all over it.  And it hasn’t even waited for the female stars to bud and turn to drugs and early-morning PCH DUI’s.  That would at least be interesting.

In the mouth, sweetness rules the day.  That’s it, I’m done with this wine.  It is sweet syrupy nothingness, where the all the ingredients work overtime to offest the Paso Zinfandel into something you could almost like–if it wasn’t absolute junk.

2014 FICTION Red Wine Paso Robles 14.9



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